Seriously, I had no plans of joining the throng of bloggers who would be writing (ranting, sourgraping, protesting, intellectualizing, or offering the congratulatory consolation to) Shamcey Supsup’s 4th place finish. I still have no plans of doing that. All I have to say about Shamcey in this blog is that today, she not only honored God but allowed her light to shine on many single Christian women.
When she was asked whether she would “change [her] religious beliefs to marry the person [she] loved,” she replied without batting an eyelash, “If I had to change my religious beliefs, then I will not marry the person that I love… because the first person that I love is God, who created me. I have my faith, my principles, and this is who makes me who I am. And if the person loves me, he should love my God, too.”
As a woman, being single and Christian is almost as challenging as walking on a burning tightrope while swallowing a live chicken whole. For one, the image of a successful woman by today’s standards is almost always associated with sexual prowess and sexual freedom. As if things aren’t complicated enough, we are consistently exposed to this worldview, this so-called intellectual perspective, that women have to be aggressive in everything, whether it’s pursuing a career goal or pursuing the man of our dreams. At first glance, they seem to be fine, still catering to our inner Ms. Goody Two-Shoes who whispers, “As long as I’m not hurting anyone, maybe this is okay.”
I don’t write this to be preachy, because I have my personal Ms. Goody Two-Shoes beckoning to me all day, too. If there’s any truth to what they’re saying, “Nice girls finish last,” I also detest the idea of myself panting toward the finish line when the ribbon had already been torn 8 hours ago. It doesn’t appeal to me either. If you just leave it to me, and I wouldn’t be accountable to anyone, I would push, shove, pole-vault to the finish line and shout, “MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”
It’s just that lately, there’s this one word that has been bouncing all over my brain like a pinball on Red Bull: OBEDIENCE. Believe me, there are times I had wanted to scream, “Lord, at the rate we’re going, by the time I get married, it would probably be my pastor’s son RD who would officiate my vows–when RD becomes a pastor!!! Why should I wait when out there, even the good girls I know seem to be helping themselves to a good catch???” A year ago, a good paraphrase of my prayers would be “Lord, You said that You have made us fishers of men… and Lord, I know that there are many fish in the sea, but… is there a chance that global warming might be drying up the Pacific?”
God seemed silent for a looooooooooooong while. He was waiting until I was ready to get it into my thick (although beautiful) skull: “Delight in My presence, and I will give you the desires of your heart.”
The Hebrew word translated into the English “delight” means “to be pliable,” and “desires of your heart” originally meant “requests of our inner man (or woman).” I came across a blog by a pastor who interpreted this as:
“If we are relying upon God and deriving our primary pleasure in Him, then He is the desire of our heart. The promise here is not that God will give us the things of this world if we delight in Him… no… the promise is that God will give us Himself, if and when we delight ourselves in Him.”
I’ve realized that I have had relationships with men, but I have not had the kind of relationship that I should have been having with The One (Who Really Matters). As I continue to grow more dependent on God for anything, anything at all, He has been guiding my steps, and my heart has never been broken.
Like I said, the recent keyword for me is “obedience.” You see, I still have been playing tug-of-war with God. Just so you know, when you play tug-of-war with God, and He lets you win, you actually lose. That’s what I’ve learned. I know He’s not asking me to just be still and trust in His plan for me, if it weren’t a perfect plan. I remember what Ptr. Joseph shared to the church… that he once struggled with God’s instruction because he was afraid that he would lose the girl he was pursuing (and praying for) to her other suitors. When he finally conceded, he said, “Lord, I choose You. If this girl is really the one You have chosen for me, then I can go ahead and do what You want me to do, and You will reserve her for me.” Who would’ve thought that church can be romantic, right? But yeah!
So, this morning, when Shamcey gave that answer, I figured, “Hey, if Shamcey can do it, so can I. Okay, God, You be the Lord of my love life. I know You have my best interests in mind, and since You are my designer, You know my heart.” Si es lo mejor de Dios, no me importa esperar. If it’s God’s best, I don’t mind waiting.
How about you? Who is lord over your love life? 🙂