Your computer dies. Your dog dies. Then you catch the flu. And then your sister does–catch the same bug, I mean. Everywhere you look, something seems to go wrong faster than you can say “dung.” What do you do?
I’m tired of ranting, so I decide to make a mockery of my crappy week instead (It’s morbid how my inspiration almost always comes from lousy experience):
- When the going gets tough, remember, it can get worse.
- Cry, and you cry alone. Smile, and the world tells you to floss.
- Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a taser for those who can’t.
- “To be or not to be” is not even a question. It’s an intransitive verb and its negative form, so stop asking!
- The darkest part of night is the likeliest time to fall down the staircase.
- The best days of your life are still ahead of you. Waaaay ahead that you might not even catch up.
- Cross the bridge when you get there. That’s IF you get there.
- Find something you love to do, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. You’ll be working 7 days a week.
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll take all the credit anyway.
- When one door closes, somebody will come and lock you out.